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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107950">Because I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit'>ChameleonCircuit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, buddie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:43:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Buck?” He asked, voice scratchy with sleep.</p><p>“Go back to sleep,” Buck said gently.</p><p>His words seemed to have the opposite effect, however, and Eddie was soon sitting up, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“You’re sneaking out on me?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Buddie - Relationship, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>513</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Because I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynewind/gifts">rynewind</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first Buddie fic so I hope you like it!!</p><p>Also cross-posted over at my Tumblr so please reblog if you like it.<br/>https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/617726593327054848/buddie-go-back-to-sleep</p><p>*unbeta'd*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Buck glanced over at Eddie on the other side of the bed, his face relaxed and peaceful, and for a moment he couldn’t help but turn his glance into a stare, a smile tugging at his lips as a bittersweet warmth filled him up. Eddie always looked beautiful, but he looked especially beautiful like this, face soft, bathed in moonlight, all his troubles stripped away in a way that made him look young and innocent and fresh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made it harder to leave but he knew he had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully, he slid out from under the covers, barely even jostling the bed as he eased his weight off the mattress. He tiptoed across the room to collect his clothes that had been discarded haphazardly just hours earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie muttered something Buck couldn’t hear and he froze completely, waiting for him to settle again before he pulled his clothes on. He watched as Eddie reached across the bed for him, frown tugging at his lips when he was met with an empty bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck?” He asked, voice scratchy with sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go back to sleep,” Buck said gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words seemed to have the opposite effect, however, and Eddie was soon sitting up, rubbing his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sneaking out on me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck could have sworn Eddie sounded hurt and he felt a flash of guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly acutely aware of how naked he was. “I mean, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>sneaking.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He settled on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? ‘Cause you seemed pretty intent on keeping quiet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only ‘cause I didn’t wanna wake you,” Buck insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. You didn’t want to wake me because you’re sneaking out before sunrise like a one night stand instead of saying goodbye like a normal human being.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage, uncertainty bubbling up inside of him. He’d assumed this was just a drunken fumble, something that should be forgotten the next morning, and despite wanting desperately for it to mean more than that, he’d also wanted to spare the uncomfortable morning after where Eddie had to explain to Christopher why he was there and be forced to politely offer Buck breakfast. And if he was being completely honest, he was attempting to protect himself from feeling unwanted, from potentially being thrown out and having his heart trampled on once Eddie realised he’d made a mistake and that his mistake had stayed the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go then,” Eddie muttered, flopping back down onto his pillow. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Buck paused, frowning at the hurt in Eddie’s voice. “I thought you’d want me gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie sat back up quickly, frowning. “Why would I want that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because we were drunk and we’re friends, </span>
  <em>
    <span>colleagues</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and this should never have happened, and I’d apologise for letting it happen but honestly I’m glad it did and, well, I was just trying to spare you an awkward morning after with the mistake you made the night before so—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck, stop,” Eddie cut Buck’s rambling off harshly, holding one hand up as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What the hell are you talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m used to being a mistake,” Buck muttered, turning his eyes to the ground. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie was silent for what felt like forever, and if he didn’t feel frozen on the spot, he would have taken the silence as his cue to leave. Instead, he just stood there, eyes focussed on a small chip in the floorboards, wishing more than anything that the ground would swallow him whole and somehow plant him in his own bed where no one could see him--where </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eddie</span>
  </em>
  <span> couldn’t see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here,” Eddie said gently, and when he forced himself to look up, Eddie’s hand was outstretched, reaching for him, a soft, sad little smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck swallowed the rising lump in his throat and obeyed, not sure what else he should do. He was surprised when Eddie actually took hold of his hand, keeping hold of it as he sat down on the edge of the mattress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a mistake,” Eddie said firmly, giving Buck’s hand a squeeze for emphasis. “Look at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck sighed as he met Eddie’s gaze, a small flurry of hope warming him up from the inside out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my best friend. I trust you implicitly. I think I might have been in love with you for longer than even I realise. Probably since day one. The only person in the world more important to me than you is Christopher, and he’s never gonna have competition for top spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie grinned and Buck ducked his head with a small laugh, chest threatening to explode. “You’re in love with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie laughed. “How could I not be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck wanted to say he loved Eddie too, he wanted to give him the kind of declaration he deserved in return, but all he could manage was to swoop in for a clumsy kiss, gripping Eddie’s face in his hands, throat too tight for words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie kissed him back in earnest, even though Buck could still feel the smile on his face, the laughter threatening to bubble up into their kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So come back to bed?” Eddie asked once they’d broken apart for air, tilting his head, expression soft again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck nodded, biting his bottom lip as he shifted across the bed to get back under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie wrapped himself around Buck, pulling him flush against his chest as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I let you think you meant any less to me than you do,” Eddie whispered, lips brushing his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck shook his head, twisting to face him. He reached up to cup Eddie’s cheek, letting his fingers ghost across the stubbly skin. “It’s not your fault I’m an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie laughed, turning his face to press a kiss to Buck’s palm. “I still should have been more clear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would have saved me a lot of mental turmoil,” Buck agreed with a teasing smile before pressing his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, breathing him in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while they just stayed there wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the feeling of knowing they were wanted by the other, but eventually Buck remembered Christopher, and his heart sank again as he pulled back again, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Eddie asked sleepily, a lazy smile still ghosting his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What...what about Christopher?” Buck asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable, like he was preparing for rejection again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Christopher?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He...I mean, isn’t he gonna wonder why I’m here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie scoffed, rolling onto his back. “You’re always here. He won’t even question it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what if he does?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t. He’s just gonna be happy to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if he does?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll say you stayed the night,” Eddie said with an exasperated sigh. “Stop overthinking this. It would be different if you were someone new but Chris already loves you. I trust you with him. Us dating doesn’t change any of that. You’re practically a parent to him anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dating?” Buck asked shyly, worry easing away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes, dating, Buck. Y’know, the way two adults who like each other do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been downgraded to ‘like’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and go to sleep,” Eddie groaned, but he curled back in towards Buck again anyway, eyes drifting shut as he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck forced himself not to continue the conversation, and instead allowed himself to relax into Eddie’s hold, content with the knowledge that this meant as much to Eddie as it did to him, possibly even more.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck woke to the smell of bacon and something sweeter, something he hoped was pancakes. He was smiling before he was even fully awake as he heard Christopher chattering animatedly and Eddie shushing him. For a moment, he just lay there, half asleep and enjoying the lingering warmth that Eddie seemed to have left behind, but slowly that contentment was replaced by worry as he thought about Christopher and what Eddie might have told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while he let anxiety keep him in bed, unable to move as he anticipated the awkwardness of what lay ahead, but eventually, he dragged himself out from under the covers and towards his clothes, telling himself it would be fine over and over like a mantra until he almost believed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused in the hall, listening to Eddie’s laughter and ignoring the way it made his stomach swoop before pushing forward, usual smile in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, sleepyhead,” Eddie teased as he flipped a pancake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” Buck replied with a sheepish smile, running his hand through his sleep-messed hair, suddenly wishing he’d made an effort to appear presentable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck!” Christopher called out from his position on the counter beside Eddie, holding his arms out in anticipation of a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, buddy,” Buck said with a grin, sweeping Chris up into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pancakes and bacon?” Eddie asked, throwing a knowing smile in their direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Buck said quietly, nodding his head in acknowledgment. Eddie had been right and he had been an idiot, as usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d been so worried and, as Eddie had tried to tell him, it had been for nothing. Breakfast with Eddie and Christopher after spending the night in Eddie’s bed felt like the most natural thing in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And maybe it was.</span>
</p>
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